I wonder what it takes to be a good mom... scratch that, a GREAT mom. Is it working hard to provide the extra things you wished you had when you were young or to send them to that great school? Is it being home to shower them with love, plan activities, and be their chauffeur? Or, maybe just praying on your knees to ask God to mold them to be His? OR, maybe you have to learn to balance all of those things and do what's *best* for you and your family. But seriously, how do you do that without facing judgement from everyone else around you?
Because there are moments when you know you're not a good mom. You do what you need to do to take care of your baby's physical needs but you wonder if you're tending to their emotional or spiritual needs. Sometimes, you don't have it in you to show any affection because you're too busy being overwhelmed. You put them down a bit early for their naps just so you can get some rest too... you might even let them stay in a crib a bit longer so you get an extra 5 minutes!
It gets worse because there's no way to really judge if you're doing a bad job that day or not. If you're blessed with a baby like mine, she smiles back anyway. She happily plays with her toys while you worry if she'll be in therapy 20 years later describing her childhood. She hums and sings to herself while she plays, dancing around while you look lifeless and just plain shitty. Though it seems like life kinda sucks, your babe... she is content and happy. You just constantly second-guess yourself and your decisions; everyone has an opinion on what you're doing--especially your parents and your husband.
How do those happy babies grow up to be so grumpy, frustrated, and unhappy? Gawd, I'd kill to be a great mom--the best mom--but right now, I'm just trying not to be the worst mom. I want my child to be full of life and joy, bright faced, enjoying all of her blessings. I want her to know God, accept Him as her Savior, live to her fullest and always do her best. Yet, how will she learn that if I struggle to be her example?
I wonder if this hodge podge of questions are what every mother wrestles through. Or if just the crappy ones do. Why do celebrities look like they have it all figured out? And the people on tv and magazines? Why do they always say they're so blessed to be doing what they're doing? I mean, they even have the right sunglasses and handbags, do they have to have the perfect family life too?!
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i think just like anything about celebrities lives (that's actually publicized), parenthood is equally as easy to sugarcoat. its easy to do a 5 minute interview & represent your life like you have it altogether. but if you're with anyone for every single moment of their day, they would have crisis moments too. i think we like to portray our lives like we have it more together than we really do, because it makes us feel like we havent lost our sanity.. especially with kids! anyway, i was thinking about this oprah show i watched this past monday.. it might be interesting to you.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090311-tows-mom-truth/1
& i dont know if you've heard of these two.. but they write books that reveal motherhood in the raw, basically.. i think the idea is to reveal the truth & hardships behind motherhood.. & the idea of loving your child, but hating "motherhood".. its a way for moms to support each other :) they have 3 or 4 books out, this being the latest..
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090311-tows-ashworth-nobile-trade-husband-excerpt
and to be honest, i never read any of them.. because i just heard about it too. but hopefully you might find something helpful from it :)
how funny, 2 other people have told me about the same oprah show!
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